Closet Quasimodo

I have just seen two of the most hideous pictures of myself that anyone has ever taken. It’s probably a good thing.

When I’m posing for myself in front of the mirror, or in front of someone’s camera, I always think I look pretty good. Nothing to scare small children, or to make people wonder how I ever attracted a husband.

These pictures were a whole other matter. My chiropractor took them, and they’re designed to show the true state of my posture, of my body alignment–which, I’m learning, is so essential for the good health of all my organs and of my general health.

I wasn’t even naked. I was fully clothed–sans glasses–but with my clothes tucked up around me in strange places to better allow the frame to show through. That alone was not flattering. I was told to go through some specified movements standing in place, which made no sense to me at the time, but which make perfect sense now.

They forced me to move around and get out of any pose I may have had in mind, and then, when she suddenly said stop, there I was, standing the way I stand when I’ve forgotten myself and think no one is looking. Trust me, I had no idea.

Dr. D. emailed me the results, with a grid superimposed over my body–one from the front, one from the side–and lines drawn across myself showing how I deviate from that grid.

This is what the normal lines should look like. Mine didn't. But you don't think I was going to show my actual photos, did you?

This is what the normal lines should look like. Mine didn’t. But you don’t think I was going to show my actual photos, did you?

The result? My head is shifted .43” to the right, and tilted 1.7° to the left. My shoulders are shifted .19” to the right, tilted 2.4° right and shifted 2.14” backwards. My head is shifted 1.3” forward, so as a result, my 13.7-pound head has the effective weight of 31.4 pounds pressing down on my neck. And it goes on.

We’re not talking Quasimodo here. Truth be told, most of you would look a lot like me, the victims of stress, hard work, poor posture, and faulty teaching. (My high school gym teacher repeatedly demonstrated how we girls should keep our butts tucked under and our stomachs pulled in. Bad advice!)

But, as Dr. D. explained, when the spine is curved in, out and around, all the nerves encased within are restricted from sending the proper energy and signals to our organs and other parts of our body. I had that proven to me when, five months after starting to see Dr. D. and making no other major changes, all of my cholesterol levels dropped to within the normal ranges (without statin drugs) and the knees that I began to think were going to need surgery, are steadily improving.

I still have home exercises to do, and I’ll be doing some blocking at home, too, to begin to shape my spine into the curve it should have. These are things I can do myself, with no pills and no surgery. All I’ll need is a little discipline, and some overseeing by Dr. D.
One more thing I plan to do, however. After I showed George those horrendous photos, and I heard him chanting “There was a crooked man, who had a crooked wife…” I decided he should see for himself that the crooked-man part is probably truer than he knows. He’s going to be the next one to have posture screening–and I get to see those photos.

(For Sturgeon Bay locals, here’s a plug. My chiropractor is Dr. Danielle Partain, who works out of the Nelson Healing Center. She does two free posture clinics every week to explain more thoroughly what I’ve been talking about. It’s a good way to get started. Just call the office.)

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About Monica Sawyn

I'm a retired newspaper reporter/columnist, and although I still freelance, I miss the weekly column I used to write. I still "see columns" in everyday life and need a place to put them after they're written--thus, this blog. I'm Catholic, have been a Benedictine oblate since 1977, and live with my husband and our beagle in Sturgeon Bay, Wis. When I'm not writing, I'm probably reading, sewing, taking photos or walking the dog.
This entry was posted in healthy living; chiropractic; health care. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Closet Quasimodo

  1. blb1 says:

    I have rods to keep my spine straight. (no I don’t believe it) Aging muscle tone goes bye bye and that doesn’t help. I can no longer suck my stomach in for long either.

  2. Kay says:

    I haven’t been to the chiro in many months. Guess I had better think about that.

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